Sean R. Reid

This particular flavor of rant is going to be a little different than usual. I’m sort of walking out on a limb here. Porn is a topic of which I’ve become very convicted. A lot of people I know won’t agree with me on this. I have family and friends that just won’t get it. They won’t see what the big deal is about porn. Arguably, most of society doesn’t see it as a big deal. Afterall, sex sells. Sexualized men and women, and the objectification of them, is pervasive in our media.

I realize I could lose some friends over this. Honesty is dangerous when it comes to this particular topic.

Hell, no more than 2 years ago I wouldn’t have agreed with me. Penn & Teller even did an episode of Bulls-hit! about it and  anyone that knows me knows that I usually fall in lock-step with them.

But that was then.

Today it’s different.

You might say pornography is “victimless.” I will respectfully disagree with you. I can personally attest that my involvement with pornography has hurt my wife and our relationship deeply. Not the least of which being that my dishonesty has created a problem with trust that will take a long time to repair. Maybe a lifetime. I hope not.

I’m not arguing that pornography should be illegal. I’m not judging those who are involved with pornography, or the sex industry, and saying that they’re bad people. I’m not casting stones and I support the freedom of speech, even that with which I don’t agree.  Those things have not changed.

Numbers don’t have a bias. Addictions are real.

I’m merely presenting some statistics.

My hope is that perhaps I’m saying something that makes someone else stop and think.

I don’t really have any goals in mind other than that and…

more importantly…

I’m finally stepping out from the darkness of a self-impose exile.

You don’t have to agree. But I hope, particularly if you know me, that you’ll respect my point-of-view and know that it comes from a place of deep thought and careful consideration.

I’ve been through various stages of hell and loneliness for over 20 years. Porn didn’t fix that.

I think trying something different is long overdue.

Source Sex Addiction

Aside from the Nikki & Kat post (which is STILL the #1 post by a LARGE margin) my post from yesterday has been getting quite a bit of attention.  As I was going through my stats I noticed that this post: “I’m a Rebel so I rebel” had picked up a few new hits.  That particular post was written a little over a year ago and I really had forgotten a lot of what was said. So I went back and took a look and MANY things stuck out to me. Notably:

So, maybe it’s okay to be me. Actually, it’s more than okay to be me.  Jesus loved sinners. As a matter of fact –and I loved this part of the Rebel series– Jesus was a FRIEND TO SINNERS.  It dawned on me, Jesus isn’t asking me to change my clothes, my music or my hairstyle.  He’s asking me to change my HEART.  More importantly I don’t have to change my friends.  I have to change MYSELF.

and,

So I’m going to keep being me and loving my friends for who they are.  I’m not going to sink into the safety of the “Christian ghetto.”  I’m going to be an honest and loving follower of Christ.  I won’t judge, but I will do my best to pray for and love others.  I won’t hide, I’ll go madly into the night and challenge sin where it rests. But I don’t think I need Christian Karate lessons or a “Jesus Saves” t-shirt before I do. I’m going to continue to work to be an honest and authentic Christian.  Most of all, I’m going to be a friend. Afterall, THAT is what Jesus would do.

I’m inclined to say “oh what a difference a year makes.” However, I would encourage you to go and read the whole thing. At their core both entries are essentially saying the same thing. Granted, yesterday’s post was significantly more angst-ridden and anger fueled.  At the moment I’m still feeling rather rejected and abandoned so it should come as no surprise that is the tone that came through.  Obviously in the earlier post things were still rather fresh and new and I was obviously pretty high on the whole experience and very “yay Northpoint!”  So, I think understandably, in light of my that particular experiences that one year makes a HUGE difference. Also, it’s pretty obvious that I have a long way to go on that whole “I won’t judge” part.

(more after the jump)

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Without going into too much detail my wife and I are decidedly lacking the “bliss” part of “wedded bliss.”   That’s putting it mildly at best. But, like I said, I’m not really interested in going into details.

What I will discuss is my role in much of this. Notably, I’ve not been very proactive in my own personal health. A side effect is that my mood is a significant drag on our relationship. Again, even saying that doesn’t really do the situation justice but I’m at a loss for a more accurate description. Primarily I’ve not done a good job with keeping up with my medications and following various doctors’ advice.  I honestly would rather sleep and/or listen to my music at blistering volumes both in attempts to drown out the rest of the world. Cleaning the Augean Stables and being knee deep in horse shit is preferable to actually getting up and doing things like eating healthier, getting exercise or seeing yet ANOTHER doctor to be a medication guinea pig.  Not that my particular course of action is working for me, per se, but it’s a hell of a lot easier than feeling like I’m inevitably setting myself up for failure. Afterall, this ain’t my first rodeo and I have yet to successfully stay on the damn horse before the inevitable occurs.

In case you haven’t already reached this conclusion, I’m very much a VERY pissed off 15 year old trapped in a 35 year old body with 35 year old responsibilities and problems. I’m not saying I’m right. I’m just saying that’s how it is and it’s the problem I’m trying to fix.

So where does Northpoint come into this picture?

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Assuming you aren’t living under a rock you’ve probably heard all about the proposed Arizona Immigration Law. I’m sure you have an opinion on it. Most people do. Unfortunately, fewer people who have opinions on the law than actually know one wit about what it actually legislates. So most arguments tend to degenerate into the usual pro, “Let them work!” or con, “They’ll take our jarbs!” (btw, that last part is best read out loud to sound like these guys).  It seems to bring out either the greatest amount of naivety or xenophobia in most people.

Ever the contrarian, I’m of the opinion that both of those arguments are not only trite but they’re way off the mark. So, to that end, here’s a few points to ponder.

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This was embedded on another post I was reading and I decided to give it a second viewing. I’ve watched it before. At the time I sat back with a smug look on my face and thought “hell yeah, take that you sniveling little man boys!”

This time it was a little different. I had different ears with which to hear what he was saying. The words smacked the smug look off my face and put me in an uncomfortable place. It’s a risk for me to even post this here for fear of potential kickback. The fact is, I’m one of those weak little “boys” to whom Driscoll is speaking.  I’m guilty of things that I don’t have the courage to put into writing. Embarrassing things. Stupid things. Things that have hurt my wife and damaged our relationship in ways that I don’t think either of us can fully comprehend.

I’m thankful that she gives me the grace necessary to try and fix what is wrong. I’m grateful that she’s willing to get in my face when necessary and tell me to put my “big boy pants on.”

In this moment I’m also thankful for men like Driscoll who love deeply enough to smack us around and tell us to “step up” and “man up.”  There are those of us who need a father figure to kick us squarely in the ass.

As much as I hate to admit it, I’m one of them. Watch the clip and ask yourself, are you a man or a boy?

(btw, if you’re offended by what he has to say chances are pretty good you’re squarely in the “boy” category)