Sean R. Reid

This particular flavor of rant is going to be a little different than usual. I’m sort of walking out on a limb here. Porn is a topic of which I’ve become very convicted. A lot of people I know won’t agree with me on this. I have family and friends that just won’t get it. They won’t see what the big deal is about porn. Arguably, most of society doesn’t see it as a big deal. Afterall, sex sells. Sexualized men and women, and the objectification of them, is pervasive in our media.

I realize I could lose some friends over this. Honesty is dangerous when it comes to this particular topic.

Hell, no more than 2 years ago I wouldn’t have agreed with me. Penn & Teller even did an episode of Bulls-hit! about it and  anyone that knows me knows that I usually fall in lock-step with them.

But that was then.

Today it’s different.

You might say pornography is “victimless.” I will respectfully disagree with you. I can personally attest that my involvement with pornography has hurt my wife and our relationship deeply. Not the least of which being that my dishonesty has created a problem with trust that will take a long time to repair. Maybe a lifetime. I hope not.

I’m not arguing that pornography should be illegal. I’m not judging those who are involved with pornography, or the sex industry, and saying that they’re bad people. I’m not casting stones and I support the freedom of speech, even that with which I don’t agree.  Those things have not changed.

Numbers don’t have a bias. Addictions are real.

I’m merely presenting some statistics.

My hope is that perhaps I’m saying something that makes someone else stop and think.

I don’t really have any goals in mind other than that and…

more importantly…

I’m finally stepping out from the darkness of a self-impose exile.

You don’t have to agree. But I hope, particularly if you know me, that you’ll respect my point-of-view and know that it comes from a place of deep thought and careful consideration.

I’ve been through various stages of hell and loneliness for over 20 years. Porn didn’t fix that.

I think trying something different is long overdue.

Source Sex Addiction

Without going into too much detail my wife and I are decidedly lacking the “bliss” part of “wedded bliss.”   That’s putting it mildly at best. But, like I said, I’m not really interested in going into details.

What I will discuss is my role in much of this. Notably, I’ve not been very proactive in my own personal health. A side effect is that my mood is a significant drag on our relationship. Again, even saying that doesn’t really do the situation justice but I’m at a loss for a more accurate description. Primarily I’ve not done a good job with keeping up with my medications and following various doctors’ advice.  I honestly would rather sleep and/or listen to my music at blistering volumes both in attempts to drown out the rest of the world. Cleaning the Augean Stables and being knee deep in horse shit is preferable to actually getting up and doing things like eating healthier, getting exercise or seeing yet ANOTHER doctor to be a medication guinea pig.  Not that my particular course of action is working for me, per se, but it’s a hell of a lot easier than feeling like I’m inevitably setting myself up for failure. Afterall, this ain’t my first rodeo and I have yet to successfully stay on the damn horse before the inevitable occurs.

In case you haven’t already reached this conclusion, I’m very much a VERY pissed off 15 year old trapped in a 35 year old body with 35 year old responsibilities and problems. I’m not saying I’m right. I’m just saying that’s how it is and it’s the problem I’m trying to fix.

So where does Northpoint come into this picture?

Read more »

This is pretty much where I’m at today. It’s been one o’them kind of days.

My War

My war you’re one of them
You say that you’re my friend
But you’re one of them
You don’t want to see me live
You don’t want me to give
’cause you’re one of them

My war you’re one of them
You say that you’re my friend
But you’re one of them

I might not know what a friend is
All I know is what you’re not
’cause you’re one of them

My war you’re one of them
You say that you’re my friend
But you’re one of them

I have a prediction, it lives in my brain
It’s with me every day, it drives me insane
I feel it in my heart, that if I has a gun
I feel it in my heart, I’d wanna kill some
I feel it in my heart, the end will come
Come on!!

My war you’re one of them
You say that you’re my friend
But you’re one of them

Tell me that I’m wrong
Try to sing me your ego song
You’re one of them

My war you’re one of them
You say that you’re my friend
But you’re one of them

My war.

This was embedded on another post I was reading and I decided to give it a second viewing. I’ve watched it before. At the time I sat back with a smug look on my face and thought “hell yeah, take that you sniveling little man boys!”

This time it was a little different. I had different ears with which to hear what he was saying. The words smacked the smug look off my face and put me in an uncomfortable place. It’s a risk for me to even post this here for fear of potential kickback. The fact is, I’m one of those weak little “boys” to whom Driscoll is speaking.  I’m guilty of things that I don’t have the courage to put into writing. Embarrassing things. Stupid things. Things that have hurt my wife and damaged our relationship in ways that I don’t think either of us can fully comprehend.

I’m thankful that she gives me the grace necessary to try and fix what is wrong. I’m grateful that she’s willing to get in my face when necessary and tell me to put my “big boy pants on.”

In this moment I’m also thankful for men like Driscoll who love deeply enough to smack us around and tell us to “step up” and “man up.”  There are those of us who need a father figure to kick us squarely in the ass.

As much as I hate to admit it, I’m one of them. Watch the clip and ask yourself, are you a man or a boy?

(btw, if you’re offended by what he has to say chances are pretty good you’re squarely in the “boy” category)

So, apparently Kat Von D came across the post I did about her interview on Sixx Sense and tweeted the following:

Saw this blog and thought it was sooo sweet! – http://tinyurl.com/y85lqfb

Srsly, how awesome is that? Thanks to Kat’s tweet blog traffic for that post BLEW.UP. My usual readership amounts mostly to George, The Wifs and maybe a few random hits from my Twitter feed or Facebook. Today the traffic has been so high that it basically flatlines my usual traffic spikes.

Suddenly I feel like the cool kid at school.

So to all the folks that are here from Kat’s tweet, what’s up? Thanks for stopping by! If your interested please stick around and check the place out. You can find all sorts of stuff about my love/hate relationship with BMX, my not-so-secret desire to grow up and be a rockstar, my hopeless love of all things 80′s and my journey into and thru the Christian wilderness as I try to navigate from darkness into the light.