Sean R. Reid

Aside from the Nikki & Kat post (which is STILL the #1 post by a LARGE margin) my post from yesterday has been getting quite a bit of attention.  As I was going through my stats I noticed that this post: “I’m a Rebel so I rebel” had picked up a few new hits.  That particular post was written a little over a year ago and I really had forgotten a lot of what was said. So I went back and took a look and MANY things stuck out to me. Notably:

So, maybe it’s okay to be me. Actually, it’s more than okay to be me.  Jesus loved sinners. As a matter of fact –and I loved this part of the Rebel series– Jesus was a FRIEND TO SINNERS.  It dawned on me, Jesus isn’t asking me to change my clothes, my music or my hairstyle.  He’s asking me to change my HEART.  More importantly I don’t have to change my friends.  I have to change MYSELF.

and,

So I’m going to keep being me and loving my friends for who they are.  I’m not going to sink into the safety of the “Christian ghetto.”  I’m going to be an honest and loving follower of Christ.  I won’t judge, but I will do my best to pray for and love others.  I won’t hide, I’ll go madly into the night and challenge sin where it rests. But I don’t think I need Christian Karate lessons or a “Jesus Saves” t-shirt before I do. I’m going to continue to work to be an honest and authentic Christian.  Most of all, I’m going to be a friend. Afterall, THAT is what Jesus would do.

I’m inclined to say “oh what a difference a year makes.” However, I would encourage you to go and read the whole thing. At their core both entries are essentially saying the same thing. Granted, yesterday’s post was significantly more angst-ridden and anger fueled.  At the moment I’m still feeling rather rejected and abandoned so it should come as no surprise that is the tone that came through.  Obviously in the earlier post things were still rather fresh and new and I was obviously pretty high on the whole experience and very “yay Northpoint!”  So, I think understandably, in light of my that particular experiences that one year makes a HUGE difference. Also, it’s pretty obvious that I have a long way to go on that whole “I won’t judge” part.

(more after the jump)

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Without going into too much detail my wife and I are decidedly lacking the “bliss” part of “wedded bliss.”   That’s putting it mildly at best. But, like I said, I’m not really interested in going into details.

What I will discuss is my role in much of this. Notably, I’ve not been very proactive in my own personal health. A side effect is that my mood is a significant drag on our relationship. Again, even saying that doesn’t really do the situation justice but I’m at a loss for a more accurate description. Primarily I’ve not done a good job with keeping up with my medications and following various doctors’ advice.  I honestly would rather sleep and/or listen to my music at blistering volumes both in attempts to drown out the rest of the world. Cleaning the Augean Stables and being knee deep in horse shit is preferable to actually getting up and doing things like eating healthier, getting exercise or seeing yet ANOTHER doctor to be a medication guinea pig.  Not that my particular course of action is working for me, per se, but it’s a hell of a lot easier than feeling like I’m inevitably setting myself up for failure. Afterall, this ain’t my first rodeo and I have yet to successfully stay on the damn horse before the inevitable occurs.

In case you haven’t already reached this conclusion, I’m very much a VERY pissed off 15 year old trapped in a 35 year old body with 35 year old responsibilities and problems. I’m not saying I’m right. I’m just saying that’s how it is and it’s the problem I’m trying to fix.

So where does Northpoint come into this picture?

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That’s right, Chuck D said it and I just copped it. Yeeeeaaahhhhh Booooyyy!!

Seriously, you’re either laughing or you’re dead inside.  Either way, copping a Chuck D lyric made a better title than “Regrets and Damned Lies, the sequel.”  I just finished listening to the final part of Pastor Gary Lamb’s “Rebel” series from Revolution Church. I was really connecting with this series.  Granted, you slap the word “rebel” on anything and I’m likely to go all James Dean pose. The series lived up to the hype and I wasn’t disappointed. And I avoided posing, which was very appropriate given the topic at hand.

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